Since we all react this way, I think it's fair to say we all take things personally. Just that some of us are more inclined to participate in whatever we're talking. It boils down to that. When tragedy strikes, some of us are better equipped to cope with its personal implications. Taking things in a relationship personally is never a smart idea.
All relationships are like this. If you take things personally, your sentiments will constantly be at the mercy of others, regardless of whether they assaulted you. One of the most important and apparent reasons for this is this. It's unhealthy for you and your relationship.
If you tend to take things personally, I have some simple advice that has helped others in similar circumstances. It involves understanding why other people behave the way they do and realizing that their behaviors frequently have little to do with us, so there's no need to take it personally.
Understanding this permits one to emotionally disconnect from others' conduct. This advise will be described using two relationship concepts. Remember that individuals aren't always selfless when it comes to relationships. Please bear with me while I explain this guiding notion.
I think we're all driven by self-interest to some level. Despite this, some of us are more self-centered than others. Given the correct conditions, some of us can act selfishly. We acknowledge that people may sometimes act selfishly when we recognize that they may sometimes:
- Will only examine what benefits them
- They'll see things their way
- Will strive for accuracy.
- Will demand their way always.
- Will only consider their own viewpoint.
- They won't think about how their actions effect others.
Thus, some individuals act selfishly for no other reason! If they're driven by self-interest, we shouldn't take whatever they do or say personally. In fact, their behaviors may have shown you how arrogant and self-absorbed they are.
You shouldn't take it personally if someone cuts you off while driving. Reassuring yourself with phrases like "this individual has just showed me how selfish s/he is by cutting me off, it is nothing personal!" will help.
Relationships' second concept is that people always behave for a cause. I learned this fundamental truth about human nature long ago. Since then, I've had it. This principle doesn't mean people always behave right. However, this does not mean they should always be pardoned for their behavior.
It also doesn't imply the person doing knows why they're doing it. Despite this, there's always a justification! The following reasons come to me when I think about what could motivate individuals to behave a certain way (maybe you can think of others):
- Modern necessities
- Wants
- Past obligations, such as unresolved issues or conflicts
- Old wounds
- Immediate concerns
- Emotional Issues Unresolved
- Unexpected motives,
- Today's stressful situation
- Previous choices
- Issues with one's ego, personality, and empathy, such as narcissism, ADHD, and a lack of empathy.
Because of this, individuals may act in certain ways based on their personality and "baggage." If these are what inspire them, we don't need to take what they do and say personally. If this is true, we don't need to take what others say and do personally. In fact, their behavior may indicate that they "have troubles."
That's consistent. Again, this is not a personal assault since it doesn't affect us. To sum up, the best way to avoid taking other people's words and actions personally is to acknowledge that others "have problems," may be self-centered, and that most of the time, their conduct has nothing to do with us. If one wishes to avoid taking things personally, they must understand and accept this.
You may find that their actions reveal their true selves if you look at it from a different aspect. This will help you shift the focus from you, which is one reason you take things personally, to them, which is another (which will help you not take things personally).
References
Botans, Serge M. An Effective Trick To Help You Not Take Things Personally: Reflections Of A Middle-Aged Man.
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